It is 4 am and I am tired this morning. Not physically tired, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I’m tired of people telling me what I should do and how I should do it. I am tired of information that floods the media telling me how to be better, faster, stronger, nicer, more centered, more productive and on and on and on. I am obviously lacking the qualities that a happy and healthy 53 year old should possess, everyone is telling me so. There are articles and books galore on how to be successful, how to grieve, how to know when your in love, how to be a parent. No wonder the world is so fucked up! I have a brain and I know how to use it thank you very much. I also have a beautiful, huge heart and I use it on a regular basis too. I know how to be me! I’m sure that everyone on the planet has those two organs of delight and despair, you pick which one is described by which word for yourself, I am tired. Okay, I think my heart as well as the rest of my body gives me clues as to what is going on. Have you ever been in love? Yes? Well then I think you have a fairly good idea how that feels. You don’t need a book or a guru of any kind to tell you how it is supposed to feel. You are the guru of your own heart! Remember that, it’s important.
Let’s look at love. There are many forms and degrees of it and sure some people can make a right bloody mess of it but it is still love. For me, love is never controlling, smothering, or restricting. Love is a celebration, an expansion and an earth shaking event in some cases! It contains heat and passion, at least it does for me. I love chocolate but that love is quite different from the love I feel for my friends, or is it? I love dark chocolate because it is dark chocolate, I don’t need to change it, correct it, or enhance it. I enjoy the chocolate (I must really love it, I talk about it a lot) just because it is it! Same with my friends, I love them just the way they are and I do not feel the need to change one little thing about them. Well that is not true, I wish they would call me on the phone more and text me less. That is what I want and all my friends already know this about me. I tell them that and then let it go, what they do with the info is up to them. Do I get angry when they continue to text me? No, I send them a text that says can we talk on the phone instead? Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it is no. Does this mean they don’t love me because they don’t do what I want? Did you catch that? I may want them to do something differently but it does not stop me from loving them to bits nor does it mean they don’t love me. I’m tiny and cute and weirdly funny, how could they resist me!
While I do believe that actions speak louder than words, sometimes you just need to hear the words. I tell my family and friends that I love them on a regular basis and I plan to do it more often. It makes them feel good! When someone enters my world, I make room for them in my heart and in my life. This is the expansive part of love. It is inclusive not exclusive. I wonder what would happen if we tried to love everybody, even those deemed unlovable. The rejects, the odd balls, the people who dance to the beat of their own drum, need to know they are loved and they deserve it too. Love is not something you get from someone else it is something you give! Ya can’t get what ya don’t give. Love is an inside job and then it expands outward and spreads to all those around you. Spread the love people, share it, hug as many people as you can, put yourself and your heart out there.
Books can be handy and so can gurus, simply because they may say or do something that shakes you up and gets you to look at the world or yourself in a different way. Expand the horizons of your mind even. They can present you with information that you did not have and a different knowledge base from which you can process life’s ups and downs and view the world. Just a reminder that the authors and gurus are humans, they just may have a bit of knowledge and insight that you don’t and a talent for writing or a phenominal editor perhaps. They still have to put their own pants on one leg at a time. Well, there is this one guy I know that can do both legs at once but all that took was some practice. Knowledge is powerful and the more knowledge you have the better. But don’t discount your inner knowledge. You were born with this innate sense of what is right (I try not to use the words right and wrong but like I told you, I am tired) for you and you have instincts, so use them. What is your gut telling you? What is your soul crying out for? What makes you dance with joy?
If you go about your life expecting to run into assholes everyday then you are going to run into assholes everyday. We notice what we turn our attention to. So look inward and bring your attention to what you see, think and feel. I know it can be tough at first! It was tough for me, but I am a rebellious little soul. Perhaps you are not rebellious and it will be as easy as pie for you. You may begin to notice some strange things happening, after a little while. It is going to be different for everyone but you will recognize the beauty, the dark and scary corners, your beliefs, your soul. Look at yourself, listen to yourself and observe yourself interacting with the world around you. You may find the heart guru that has been hiding in there all this time. Throw the books (I can’t believe I just said that about books) and other peoples opinions out and discover you. Have an intimate moment with yourself. Have a lot of intimate moments with yourself! When it comes to your life are you going to trust some guru or your own gut? No guts no glory takes on a whole new meaning now doesn’t it?
Be your own guru!
Love you all, Donna