I wanted to take a moment to write on my last day and night in the house I have called home for the last twelve years. I do not understand how it is possible for me to be filled with sadness and happy anticipation at the same time, but I am. Just goes to show me that we are never just one thing but a beautiful synthesis of all our experiences and emotions. Life is complicated and so too are the ways we respond to it. Layers and layers of experiences and feelings all wrapped around blood and bones with a huge heart smack dab in the middle of it all.
One of the things that I have discovered in the last year is that I love people! I would never admit it before and tried to deny the fact that I am a people person. I do not miss working at all, but it gave me a way to make connections with others and the absence of that has left a big hole in my life. I am managing to find new ways to connect with people and am forming relationships that are based on a deeper level of understanding and caring than they have ever been before. I am spreading my wings and just happen to stop and wrap them around people on a regular basis. Watching someone blossom and open up when they are approached with unconditional love and acceptance makes my heart almost burst with delight! It is not about me or my wants or needs, it is about what I put out into the world and how I treat others. There is a bigger picture, there is always a bigger picture.
I have some very special people in my life and I thank the universe for them every day. I have been blessed in so many ways and have fallen in love with life again. I dont’t think I had been really living the last few years, I think I was existing which in a sense is like being dead to the world. There was no joy, I had lost my ability to feel it. I have my joy back and my passion for life and people has been reborn. Now, I have something to offer the world again. I offer myself and all the love and joy that this tiny little body with a big heart can hold. It flows out of me there is so much and touches all I come into contact with.
I was busy and had to stop in the middle of writing this. Wow moving is hard work and next time I will hire a moving company! My last night in Sooke was bittersweet. I went to sleep listening to the frog symphony and the waterfall in the koi pond. I also had one of the best sleeps I have had in a long time. Only three days left to get everything done and the help keeps pouring in and in some cases complete strangers are helping out. I am not used to asking for help so this was difficult for me. I am usually the one helping others, but I guess it was my turn and it has been and humbling and heart warming experience. What goes around comes around.
You most likely will not hear from me for a few days as the time gets critical but I have got some wonderful blog ideas for the future and look forward to sharing them with you. Keep smiling with your heart!
Peace and love to all