Do you ever feel as if you are just existing and going through the motions without really living? I feel that way today. It is as if I am waiting for something even though I don’t know what that something is. I try to make plans but something always comes up to make me cancel. I have tried planning a few trips but they have all fallen through for one reason or another. It’s not that I don’t want to do things and move forward with my life and in a few respects I have moved forward. The last year has hammered home the point that life is short and precious so don’t waste one minute of it. I feel as though I am wasting my life not doing much of anything. Then I realized that sometimes you just need to sit with things for a while. This period of inactivity has its purpose even if I don’t understand it at this time. I am not used to sitting with things and watching life unfold for others around me. I am observing from a neutral perspective and not really reacting to things. Because of my lack of reaction I am noticing subtle things about people that I normally would not have noticed.
Went for tea with a friend last night. We haven’t seen much of each other since she moved to a different part of town. I don’t know this person extremely well but there has always been a connection between us since we met. I got to see a family member of hers that passed away and share this information with her. This is not a usual occurrence in my life. Interesting, unsettling, and wondrous are words I would use to describe the situation. I am not a medium and while I do have some strong intuitive gifts communicating with the deceased is not a normal skill for me. However having said that, the way people and animals communicate is not that different. It is not as though they speak directly to me. Sometimes it is just having information in my mind that wasn’t there a minute before, I see pictures, experience emotions and in some cases experience physical pain. I am more comfortable with the animals than I am with the people.
One animal in particular has been making its presence known. I am obsessed with elephants and see them everywhere I go. They will be on tshirts, mugs, paintings, billboards etc. Is it one of those situations where you notice the thing you are focusing on? I am not sure and in the end does it really matter? The message the animal brings to me is the important part. They walk and their footsteps mimic the heartbeat of the earth and reminds me that we are all connected, what happens to one happens to all. They are my guides on this new stage of my life and have given me ideas about what I want to do for a living. I can’t tell you about it yet but let’s just say it is so far removed from anything I have ever attempted that it scares me and makes my soul dance at the same time. In the meantime the universe is teaching me to observe by giving me the time to just sit and be. It is only when I understand myself that I can understand others. The light and the dark are present in all of us, we choose what we will project to the world and the world gives it back in kind.
This is a short blog post, but considering that I have not been able to sit and write for weeks, I will be happy with that. Things are constantly changing and as a result I am constantly shifting my opinion and way of being in the world. The one thing that has been made crystal clear to me in the last year is that only the love matters. I have a huge heart with the capacity to love many people and living with my heart wide open does not allow anything else. This does not mean that I love everyone I come into contact with. Some people are difficult to like let alone love. Every person I meet teaches me something or gives me more information and helps me navigate this crooked path called my life. Much thanks to each of them.
Oh yes,the message from the elephant. Stop ignoring the elephant in your life. That big issue that you deny and refuse to deal with. Elephant poop is huge! So before that elephants shits all over your life, deal with it. It will not be as bad as you think! Well it might seem bad at first but I promise that it will be worth it in the long run.
So hug the people you love