Well, it’s five in the morning and I am sitting here with my sunny yellow mug full of coffee. I no longer sit in my slightly soiled chair, it is in the basement, and I now write from a brown velvety sofa beneath the painting that Shawn bought me for Christmas. It is a beautiful painting by Terry Issac of an ancient raven totem pole that has a real raven perched on top crying out into the mist. It is called the storyteller and was the perfect gift for me, I love it. I still write most mornings but rarely post anything anymore. I am still trying to find my way in my new life. I still miss Howard and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him or talk about him. He was an amazing man. I remember writing a post called “To the Next Amazing Man” two years ago. I have been blessed to find another amazing man who challenges me, makes me laugh, loves me for who I am, and shares his passion for all things old and rusty with me. He does sometimes question my purchases and asks where the heck I am going to put them. This question coming from the man who bought juggling balls ( he does not juggle) a second cd stand with a creepy old guy with stringy hair holding the cd rack (we do not have a cd player) or two hooves with hair and googly eyes attached to them (he loves them) always amazes me and makes me laugh. My usual response to where are you going to put it is, I won’t know till we get home! On Christmas Eve I brought home an old oil can that is now our garbage can in the garage where we play darts. Shawn’s first question was, “Where are you going to put it?” I love the oil can, it is two feet tall, painted black, has a wooden handle, a lid, a spout and a glass window for seeing how much oil was in the can. I also have an aversion to regular old garbage cans, they are boring and mostly ugly. I have never seen a garbage can that I fell in love with and I enjoy repurposing old items.
You might be getting the idea that we buy a lot of old stuff and you would not be wrong. I start getting antsy about the time the swap meets start up in the spring and cannot wait to get out there and find the next treasure! The perfect job for me would be roaming the country like the American Pickers on television looking for old and interesting items. I have come to the conclusion that I am basically unemployable simply because I can no longer work with the general public without telling the idiots that they are idiots or rude customers to shove off. After 25 plus years in the retail industry in some form or another, I have no patience for bullshit or rudeness and cannot see myself being employed by anyone who is smart and who wants a dumb boss! Okay, back to the matter of treasure. Shawn buys a lot of used and unusual things. I am not allowed to say the H word (hoarder) in reference to him, he likes to be called a collector of fine treasures! This has worked out for him for a lot of years. He is always buying and selling. Well, selling not so much- he gets attached to these items. I like the hunt more than the item itself, most of the time, so we make a good team. An eccentric form of retail therapy! Besides, who doesn’t need an antique Inuit kayak frame hanging from their living room ceiling?
Once in a while, when I am away from the house for a few hours I will get a text from Shawn that says, guess what I bought. There is no possible way, based on his purchasing history, that I could guess and be remotely close unless I said the words car or truck. We both love old cars and I love driving my 31 Model A pickup ( picture of me in Skinny at the top). I even got to drive it on the Bonneville Salt Flats this year! Her name is Skinny Bitch. The truck used to be owned by a local man called Skinny who passed away, so the Skinny part of the name was a given. When I first met Shawn I needed some new jeans because I had lost a lot of weight during Howard’s illness and passing. I went from 145 pounds down to 103 pounds and was basically skin and bones. I went to a local store and one of the sales clerks pounced on me before my rear end had cleared the doorway asking me if she could help me find anything. I find this to be extremely annoying so I said, “Sure, I am looking for new jeans, show me what the skinny bitches wear.” Hence, the name of my truck. She also sold me the most comfortable and well fitting jeans I have ever owned! All of our cars and trucks have names which may seem silly but they all have their own personality and temperament. I did not like to drive Skinny at first, but Shawn pointed that we just needed to get to know each other a bit and he was right. All relationships take time and attention.
It seems strange to me sometimes that I have only been in a relationship with this man for about two years and yet it feels like he has always been a part of my life. I met Shawn during one of the most difficult periods of my life and he helped me find the joy in living again. Some people thought we got involved with each other too soon after Howard passed away. Howard would have disagreed. You only have so much time on this earth so don’t waste any of it worrying about what others think. Do not let fear hold you back from moving forward and most of all don’t be afraid to face the world with your heart wide open. I went from living in a big empty house all by myself, miserable and grieving, to a life filled with people, dogs, laughter and joy, because both Shawn and I took a risk. We were willing to risk our hearts and trust our feelings. Both our lives are richer because of it.
Love you all
Hug lots and sing loudly