Know Who You Are

I have witnessed three beautiful sunrises this week from the east coast of Canada. I am in Halifax, where I was born and spent the first 23 years of my life. The city has changed so much I barely recognize it. I have lived on the west coast for more than 24 years so I have officially spent more time there. I still refer to Halifax as home. For us east coasters our roots run deep. If we meet people anywhere in the world and they are also from the east coast there is an instant bond, a shared understanding of a culture and way of being in the world. I love the accent that rolls off tongues in that sing song drawl and can recognize it wherever I am. The accent will vary depending on whether you are from a big city, or one of the smaller towns which each seem to put their own twist on a way of speaking. For now, I just want to sit and listen to the people speak. I find comfort in those familiar patterns of speech from my childhood.
I woke up at 4:30 am this morning listening to the birds sing the beginning of the day into existence and even they sing a song that is different now. I lay in my borrowed bed comparing them to the bird songs of the west, unable to identify any but the crows. I am hoping to see a blue jay while I am here, they hold a special significance for me and they don’t exist on Vancouver island. We have jays on the island but the Stellar Jays of the west are slightly different. The eastern jays are brighter in colour and slightly smaller, though their screech is very similar. This trip has me comparing many things between the east of my childhood and the west of my adulthood.
I did think about moving east after Howard left this earth. I spent hours looking through the real estate listings and dreaming about a waterfront home along the Atlantic. My heart is in the west now though, with the people who have come to mean so much to me. I call them my soul family. I fit there amongst the cedars, bald eagles, mild weather and the laid back lifestyle of small town Sooke. I belong there now. Perhaps I had to leave there to know that. I wish I had the ability to be in two places at the same time. I just started laughing cause the word bicoastal ran through my mind. I am bicoastal!
When I arrived at my sisters home and unpacked my suitcase I found a note from the special man in my life. This man was kind enough to wake up at 3:30 am to drive me to the airport, I think he likes me. This small note brought tears to my eyes and melted my heart. His presence in my life has helped me to wake up parts of myself that have been dormant for a very long time. I thank the universe for him every day and appreciate the fact that he has the strength to walk beside me and encourages me to grow, heal, and live my dreams. His note was a little reminder of all that is waiting for me when I return. This was a trip of necessity, I needed to revisit the past and make peace with it to move forward with clarity and purpose. I needed to remember who I am. So, today I am going to visit with some of my cousins. I am looking forward to reconnecting with them and getting to know them again. They too will help me remember who I am.  
So while I was away living my life on the west coast the east coast has changed. I guess time stood still in my mind and I expected things to be the same. We change and grow and places change and grow. I am not the same person that left Nova Scotia many years ago. This trip has confirmed one thing for me, while the east will always be part of me I belong among the cedars of the west.  I have also learned that you need to know and understand the past to move in a different way into the future. Learn from the past but don’t dwell there or live from there, learn from it . Know who you are. Live your life with no regrets, just live!
Love to all

Donna

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Sunrises

It is just after five in the morning and I am heading to the beach to watch the sun come up.   According to Google the sun will rise over the southern end of Vancouver Island at approximately 6:52 am. I have a while to wait, so I will write for a bit. I love sunrises and sunsets especially by the water. There is something magical about the moment when the dark and the light meet in the sky and a new day hangs in the balance. Right now I wish I was somewhere tropical but that is not in the cards at the moment. The weather here has been warm for the end of March and the temperature rose to nineteen degrees celsius, which for my friends south of the border would be close to sixty seven degrees fahrenheit.

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Well I am at the waterfront and I am not the only person here. There is another car with someone sitting in it alone, watching the sun come up. The sky is spectacular and I will take a few pictures so I can share it with you. I can see the mountain range to the south poking up out of the mist with its snowcapped peaks. Cannot think of the name of the mountain range at the moment. Um, I think it is the Olympic Mountains, though I am not one hundred percent sure. The sky is a brilliant orange with streaks of gold and pink.   I wish I had thought to bring a blanket to keep me warm. It is a little chilly along the coast this morning. I went for a walk along the sand and took a picture of my feet. I take lots of accidental pictures of feet but this time I did it on purpose. My new hightop black sneakers with my girly grey and pink wool socks pocking out of the top of them are getting covered in sand. I love my socks and my new black sneakers. I wonder why they started calling them sneakers?

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A seal just glided by and the birds are busy flying around doing bird things. There are a number of fish boats slowly making their way through the water. I feel so alone yet connected to everything at the same time. Life is full of contradictions. At least my life seems to be. The traffic on the road is picking up with people headed to work and another day begins. I am glad I got in my car and drove here to write. I usually have a sense of peace when I am by the water. Lately that peace has eluded me but sitting in the dark by the water has brought it back. I try not to think about things too much, it shatters the calmness of my soul. I can get myself into all sorts of trouble by thinking too much. Think less, do more should be my mantra.

You have been with me through a lot in the last few months. I want to thank you for listening to my words by reading what I write. It has been extremely beneficial for me to be able to express myself in this way and work through some of my thoughts and feelings in this medium. I have a feeling that it is all about to change. I can’t say for sure how this will happen. Only the universe and perhaps Alfred Hitchcock know what is in store for me. I’m not sure if I am excited or fearful, most likely a combination of both.

I have a busy day planned so I guess I should get things started. Hope you all have a joy filled day.

Hug people
Donna