Odd Shit and Potatoes

Well once again it is just after five thirty in the morning and I am sitting in a mostly empty house waiting for the coffee to brew. In a few more days this house will be occupied by a young family. I wonder how the house will feel, it has never had children living in it before. The energy of this house is very calm and peaceful so it will be interesting to know how the family and the house react to each other. I know it sounds a little odd for me to write about the house like it has a personality and feelings but I think about these things. Perhaps it is the energy of the people that permeate the building, like the house is a container for their spiritual energy. I may never know.

Speaking of odd, some people would describe me and my lifestyle as odd and that is the way I like it. I am open to all the possibilities and if that makes me a little odd so be it. One really strange and funny thing happened this week. I was talking on the phone to a friend who also happens to be a medium and she started laughing. When she starts to laugh it always makes me nervous and curious at the same time. She had Alfred Hitchcock show up on the ceiling of her little sitting room. I started laughing as well, really Alfred Hitchcock. So, I asked what does Alfred have to say?
Well his message was for me to keep writing but in a more creative form. He told me to make up stories. Who am I to argue with Alfred Hitchcock? So once I am in my new place and life has settled down I will start writing in a more creative form, which has always been my passion, reading and writing fiction. No idea what I will write about at this point but you can bet it will have a spiritual theme and some odd characters.

The universe has a funny way of leading me to things. I also notice this happening in the lives of the people around me. We are lead where we need to go, even if at the time the method of getting us there does not appear to be beneficial at first. You lose your job unexpectedly then out of nowhere the perfect job for you appears. This has happened to me a few times! I was lead to this new place I will be living and there were lots of applicants for the suite, but I knew that it would be mine. People show up out of the blue just when I need them. I always get what I need though most times that is rarely what I want or perhaps it would be better to say what I think I want. The universe is much wiser than I am.

Some would say that our thoughts create our reality and for the most part I would agree with them. However, sometimes shit just happens. Sometimes big shit or unfair shit just happens to you or to those around you. I don’t think our thoughts manifested that situation but I do think that our thoughts determine how we respond to the shit! Keep expecting negative things to happen and negative things will happen, expect the positive and you get positive. I am always surprised that the universe thinks I deserve all the wonderful things that it brings me. I am no more special than the next person, but am constantly amazed at the things that happen to me and around me. Not all of them have been pleasant but each one has been a learning experience. Some lessons are easier to learn than others of course!

Well it is now three hours later and a wonderful friend just left driving my 51 Caddy called Lola. It was hard to see her leave the garage with someone else behind the wheel but I know she will be treated with care and is being stored in a safe place. I love that car with her curvy behind and all the little things that come with owning an old piece of rolling art. I especially love the colour, which was a happy accident. Someday I will tell you the story of the creation of Lola and all the laughter, happy coincidences that happened and how she got her name. Today is not the day for that. I had tears in my eyes as she went down the driveway with me standing in an empty garage. Here I am once again saying goodbye, alone with tears in my eyes. This portion of my life has almost come to an end, no more standing here by myself watching people and things leave my life. Just got the phone call, Lola and driver have arrived safely, woohoo!

Friends are arriving this morning to help me move the last few things from the house. Don’t know if I will sleep here again. Maybe one more time to say goodbye.
Life is funny and messy and beautiful and tragic and miraculous and difficult, it is all good, all the ups and downs are good. So my final words today are, if a man asks you to hold his potatoes walk away, even if they are warm!

Peace and love to all of you

More than Enough

I think there must be an art to letting go. A sweet release of everything extraneous and unnecessary. A paring down, uncomplicated by desires or expectations . Sounds peaceful and gentle doesn’t it? The reality of letting go for some of us is neither gentle nor remotely peaceful. We cling and grasp, leaving deep marks with our fingernails down the backs of the people we once loved. We suffer and wallow in self pity. Sometimes letting go gets tangled in our broken dreams and emotional turmoil. We love to complicate things, make them more than they are and think doing damage on our way out will take some of the pain of our loss away. Sometimes we think of letting go as a loss, but I think that’s where we go wrong.

You’re angry, let it go, breathe it out through your mouth. Whatever it is that you need to let go of, breathe it out. One forceful puff of air and the anger, or whatever it is for you, dissipates a little bit. Over and over breathe it out until it no longer remains. Can you feel that? The letting go gave you something, as though offering up what it is you need to let go of made room for something else. Something so unlike what you released it takes time to decipher the feeling. A sense of peace perhaps, or a calm acceptance of the loss? I think people could have any number of descriptions for it and they would all be right. The space created by the letting go is just that a space, you can fill it with anything your soul cries out for. But, do we need to fill it before the thing you released creeps its way back in. I think some of us will try just because that space makes us uncomfortable. The pause between breaths, that is where you find you. That quiet space is where you hide.

I don’t understand why any of us would hide from ourselves but we do it. I have done it and still do, a lot. Why is facing the truth of ourselves, the pure love that wants to radiate out of us so difficult? Everyone tells us the answers are out there somewhere. Feeling bad? Have another piece of cake, drink, spend money on anything, gamble, smoke, just grab something and stuff it into that space. We are afraid. We are afraid we will be rejected, ridiculed, laughed at, criticized, unloved and any other number of things we can imagine that will fuel that fear. We are deficient and lacking. We are never enough of something or enough for somebody.

I say you, just you are enough. With your wounds and scars you are enough. With your imperfect body and wrinkles, you are enough. With your heartache and tears, you are enough. Just be you, you are perfect in this moment. Love yourself, deeply and passionately until the space inside you grows so large there is room for everyone you meet. You surround them with love and now you are more than enough. For you are love itself and people can see it and feel it and they desire it. You are more than enough!

Hug everyone
Love yourself