It’s All About Love

Have not wanted to write much lately. This usually happens when I have too many things to process. Information keeps flooding in from the universe and sometimes it takes me a little while to work through and integrate this new knowledge into my being. I was also thinking about the way I write. I use plain language and have a difficult time fancying it up. That is just the way I am in life. I like things simple and do not trust things when they come wrapped in fancy packages, it distracts from the real purpose. When the writing is full of big words and ideas I find it difficult to get to the heart of what the writer is trying to say. It’s as if the words (and author) dance around the subject without getting to the point. I like getting to the point!

There are some things I am uncomfortable writing about. I know, this statement coming from the girl who writes about some very personal things sounds bizarre.  One thing that is very important in my life is the universe and spirit. During meditation last night I had a strange encounter with a beautiful male blue heron. He was in front of me in the water with his wings spread wide moving his feet in a dance with great joy. I walked up to the heron and placed my forehead against his and he continued to dance in place. I knew this was some form of mating ritual. Now, whether herons have one I do not know, but this is how it felt. Our foreheads touching we danced and at some point it was as if we melded together and became one. I could feel the breeze in my wing feathers and the strength in my long delicate legs. I felt so much love coming from this great bird that is was amazing. No other thing, just love. That is the message he had for me, it is all about love.

Love with no strings attached is a beautiful thing. Have you ever experienced love without strings? I have, though it is rarely from people. I love trees, all trees, but I do not ask them to be anything other than a tree. I do not think, now if that tree was only 6 inches taller or a little greener that would the perfect tree for me. No strings attached to my love of trees, water, nature or people. My love is given freely without strings. Well most of the time, I am still a work in progress! We enter into relationships with people, animals, businesses etc to satisfy our needs. If we are clear about our needs that is great. I do believe that some people do not have a clear idea of why they do anything. Having said that, relationships with those people can be tricky or difficult. One time I was talking to a friend about a problem I was having with someone in my life. Their solution was to pray for them. My allergy to religion and my mindset at that point rebelled and I asked if God bless the bastard counted as a prayer cause that was about all I was capable of. He said that did not count as a prayer. He told me to find the love in my heart for that person, to separate their behavior from them as a person and pray. It took me a while but I finally did it and damn if didn’t work!

The universe also decided to teach me what prayer was all about and proceeded to steer me in the direction of a prayer and spiritually based life. I love praying! I do not pray to a specific God. I pray to the universe as a whole because to me it is a conscious living breathing entity and we are all a part and the whole of it. We are all connected so in a sense I am praying to all of you as well. When I pray I pour my heart and soul into it and the love that is part of us all radiates out and is reflected back to me. Sometimes when I pray it is as if I as a single entity cease to exist and I am everything and nothing at the same time. The universe, spirit, God or whatever you believe in is asking me to step forth and share my gifts with the world when I am not even sure what those gifts are. The only thing I have to offer is love and I am getting better and better at approaching everyone from a place of love. I am secretly enjoying it so do not tell anyone!

I was given a lot of messages last night from the universe through the animal symbols it used to help get the point across. The main theme was love and then the others were relax, trust, enjoy life, pray, be aware and in the moment. Good advice regardless of where it comes from. I had the honour of learning (many years ago) from a Native American Medicine Man from South Dakota and one thing he said to us as a group when we were in ceremony was, “Pray when you wake up, pray when you work, just pray until your life becomes the prayer.” Those words have always stayed with me and had a profound effect on me. Those words changed the way I looked at the world. I have noticed that when I approach the universe from a place of love, prayer and faith I feel connected to the world and the people around me. When I approach the universe from a place of anger, doubt and fear I feel disconnected and isolated. There comes a point when your realize that the love you spread to others makes it more important to understand than to be understood, more important to love than to be loved. The animals are right it is all about the love.

I do not care whether you believe in God, Buddha, Allah or Jehova, You don’t have to believe in anything. To me it is all the same and the message is about love, kindness and compassion. I share my experiences but do not ask you to change your belief system. I thank the universe daily for allowing me to experience this life in such a miraculous manner, through the world of spirit and animals. There is much to learn and much to do. I especially want to acknowledge the wonderful elephant that has made her presence and teachings known to me in such a gentle and beautiful manner. I also am looking forward to what the horses have to teach me. I am blessed to walk in spirit with the animals on a daily basis and am grateful for this gift from the universe.

Love and peace to all
Hugs
Donna

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Buying Into Bullshit

I cannot believe that I am writing this! Remember that this is after all only my opinion and in no way am I trying to tell you not to believe what you believe, or am I asking you to agree with me.Having said that, let’s do this. I am so tired of bullshit! I had a chat with two friends of mine yesterday. You know, the real friends that allow you to just say whatever you want and need to get of your chest, without getting upset about it or taking it personally. Anyway, we discussed many different things and they asked me one question (a lot of people have asked me this in the last six months) “Are you going to open your business again?” In my head and heart I heard HELL NO! Up until that moment, whenever I was asked this, I would say I am not sure. Something didn’t feel quite right until yesterday when the hell no came screaming out of me. My business was a retail store that sold yoga, meditation and metaphysical products to the not so general public. I just fell into the business with a forceful nudge from the universe. I cannot open that business again because that would mean I am not living an authentic life and at this point I have trouble being anything but authentic. You do not need the shit I was selling! What most of you wanted was someone to talk to and I provided that for free, no purchase required. What I got out of the business was you, I needed you to interact with me and at that point in my life the only method I had to meet you, was to sell you stuff.

Please note that this is not an attack on a specific industry but the retail industry as a whole and certain segments are singled out only as an example for making a point. You want to practice yoga get on the floor or the grass and do it! You do not need a mat, special clothing or any of the other stuff that you are being sold. It has been done for centuries without any of that. People want to sell you stuff and in order to do it they need you to believe that you cannot possibly do it “right” without their stuff. Meditation, same thing, just sit in a comfortable position and get it started. Mind you, I do love my meditation bench and it allows me to sit for long periods. (In my case 1/2 an hour is long) and be comfortable. You want healing and look for things that are going to make it faster and easier. These things you buy are tools people!   They are just tools to get you out of the small minded world you have trapped yourself inside of so you don’t feel the pain. They can help sure but no one thing or one person can heal you. You heal you! You get honest with yourself and do the work because if you don’t no one person and no thing can save your ass. If every time you need to make a decision you consult someone or something you are not acknowledging your own feelings. You want someone else to tell you what to do and then if it doesn’t work it is their fault. Take responsibility for you and find, search, and seek out the help you need but don’t expect to not have to do the work.

Sorry, I went on a bit of a rant there. I feel very strongly about it and cannot sell you things at this time. What I want to sell you on is your own ability to help yourself. Sure we need help sometimes and that is true for all of us, accept help, seek the help, be the help for others. I am not saying don’t buy the tarot cards or consult a psychic, or use crystals or have a reiki treatment or seek professional medical help in any capacity. These are all wonderful tools on the path to healing. I use Reiki, tarot cards, crystals, essential oils, and medical professionals on my own healing journey. I do not depend on them to make decisions or to solve my problems. What I am saying is do not expect them to fix you. I am asking what you would do if none of that existed or all just went away. What the fuck would you do? Well some people would have you believe that if you would only have nothing but positive thoughts it will be all rainbows and puppy dog kisses. I say bullshit! You want to get rid of your pain then you need to get down and dirty with it. Roll around on the floor naked and make sweet love to that pain!   Feel it, don’t try to push it away or cover it up with flowery words because sometimes your fucking life will depend on your ability to dance with the pain. I have survived some seriously nasty shit over the course of my life, am thriving even and for the most part am a warm and happy person. Most of my friends, notice I said most, would agree with that statement. Some would call me something much less flattering, they also have no idea what I have been through in my life because I don’t share all the details with everyone. I have danced with the pain in the many shapes and forms it came in. I have been there. I hope you do not have to stay with the pain as long as I did.

I don’t care how many positive and self affirming thoughts you have going on in that pretty little head of yours, it is masking the symptoms of a much larger problem. It cannot take away the pain until you face the pain and there is always help available. Please get help if you need it and please don’t feel as though you are all alone. That is the big secret, everyone feels alone with their pain and afraid they will be judged, ignored, rejected etc. etc. if they reach out to someone. If the first person you reach out to is a complete idiot reach out to someone else and then someone else until you find the right person. You are fucking worth it and your life matters no matter what you have been through. You are not alone. Think about it, with over seven billion people on the planet I am sure there is someone who will understand what is eating you up inside.

Positive thinking has its place for sure! What works for me is sending the positive thoughts out to others, by helping them I help myself. I am not focused on my narrow little world, I am getting out of my own dark and sometimes self defeating mind and giving to others. What you put out into the world comes back to you, they say. I’m still not sure who the hell “they” are but I could kick their ass right now. Manifest the life you want “they say”. So, what you put out comes back. Putting out I want this, I need that, this is what I want my life to look like, blah blah blah is grasping. You grasp anything in your fist long enough and you will choke it. Grasping, greed, me, me, me. Just think you get back what you send out!!! Send out love and compassion for others and you get love and compassion back from others. Send out all the bullshit you have bought into and you get back more bullshit. Is it starting to make sense?

Please stop buying the shit they are selling that tells you that you are not enough, this pill will fix all your problems, that car will earn you respect, this newer and bigger house will improve your messed up family life. The healing starts internally with you and a decision to do the work you need to do to start the healing process. Seek the help that you need in whatever form that takes for you. But, I beg you not to hand them the power you were born with to know and heal yourself by purchasing the shit they are selling. You do not need to purchase anything to be a happy healthy person in all of your brilliant glory, what you need is other people, that human connection. You need love and you cannot buy that.

Be the love, be the change
Love you all
Donna

Heart Guru

It is 4 am and I am tired this morning. Not physically tired, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I’m tired of people telling me what I should do and how I should do it. I am tired of information that floods the media telling me how to be better, faster, stronger, nicer, more centered, more productive and on and on and on. I am obviously lacking the qualities that a happy and healthy 53 year old should possess, everyone is telling me so. There are articles and books galore on how to be successful, how to grieve, how to know when your in love, how to be a parent. No wonder the world is so fucked up! I have a brain and I know how to use it thank you very much. I also have a beautiful, huge heart and I use it on a regular basis too. I know how to be me! I’m sure that everyone on the planet has those two organs of delight and despair, you pick which one is described by which word for yourself, I am tired. Okay, I think my heart as well as the rest of my body gives me clues as to what is going on. Have you ever been in love? Yes? Well then I think you have a fairly good idea how that feels. You don’t need a book or a guru of any kind to tell you how it is supposed to feel. You are the guru of your own heart! Remember that, it’s important.

Let’s look at love. There are many forms and degrees of it and sure some people can make a right bloody mess of it but it is still love. For me, love is never controlling, smothering, or restricting. Love is a celebration, an expansion and an earth shaking event in some cases! It contains heat and passion,  at least it does for me. I love chocolate but that love is quite different from the love I feel for my friends, or is it?   I love dark chocolate because it is dark chocolate, I don’t need to change it, correct it, or enhance it. I enjoy the chocolate (I must really love it, I talk about it a lot) just because it is it! Same with my friends, I love them just the way they are and I do not feel the need to change one little thing about them. Well that is not true, I wish they would call me on the phone more and text me less. That is what I want and all my friends already know this about me. I tell them that and then let it go, what they do with the info is up to them. Do I get angry when they continue to text me? No, I send them a text that says can we talk on the phone instead? Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it is no. Does this mean they don’t love me because they don’t do what I want? Did you catch that? I may want them to do something differently but it does not stop me from loving them to bits nor does it mean they don’t love me. I’m tiny and cute and weirdly funny, how could they resist me!

While I do believe that actions speak louder than words, sometimes you just need to hear the words. I tell my family and friends that I love them on a regular basis and I plan to do it more often. It makes them feel good! When someone enters my world, I make room for them in my heart and in my life. This is the expansive part of love. It is inclusive not exclusive. I wonder what would happen if we tried to love everybody, even those deemed unlovable. The rejects, the odd balls, the people who dance to the beat of their own drum, need to know they are loved and they deserve it too. Love is not something you get from someone else it is something you give! Ya can’t get what ya don’t give. Love is an inside job and then it expands outward and spreads to all those around you. Spread the love people, share it, hug as many people as you can, put yourself and your heart out there.

Books can be handy and so can gurus, simply because they may say or do something that shakes you up and gets you to look at the world or yourself in a different way. Expand the horizons of your mind even. They can present you with information that you did not have and a different knowledge base from which you can process life’s ups and downs and view the world. Just a reminder that the authors and gurus are humans, they just may have a bit of knowledge and insight that you don’t and a talent for writing or a phenominal editor perhaps. They still have to put their own pants on one leg at a time. Well, there is this one guy I know that can do both legs at once but all that took was some practice. Knowledge is powerful and the more knowledge you have the better. But don’t discount your inner knowledge. You were born with this innate sense of what is right (I try not to use the words right and wrong but like I told you, I am tired) for you and you have instincts, so use them. What is your gut telling you? What is your soul crying out for? What makes you dance with joy?

If you go about your life expecting to run into assholes everyday then you are going to run into assholes everyday. We notice what we turn our attention to. So look inward and bring your attention to what you see, think and feel. I know it can be tough at first! It was tough for me, but I am a rebellious little soul. Perhaps you are not rebellious and it will be as easy as pie for you. You may begin to notice some strange things happening, after a little while. It is going to be different for everyone but you will recognize the beauty, the dark and scary corners, your beliefs, your soul. Look at yourself, listen to yourself and observe yourself interacting with the world around you. You may find the heart guru that has been hiding in there all this time. Throw the books (I can’t believe I just said that about books) and other peoples opinions out and discover you. Have an intimate moment with yourself. Have a lot of intimate moments with yourself! When it comes to your life are you going to trust some guru or your own gut? No guts no glory takes on a whole new meaning now doesn’t it?

Be your own guru!

Love you all, Donna